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Internet Dating. How Many Emails Should You Exchange Before Meeting Someone For The First Time And How Long Should You Wait?

 

There was a time not long ago that people didn't exchange any emails before the first date. People either met in public at dances, the library, the grocery store, at school, ... or they used personal ads in the newspaper. Typically when answering a personal ad, it would be one phone conversation. People didn't wait before meeting someone for the first time. If things went well on that very first phone conversation, people often made arrangements to meet right away, or they exchanged phone numbers and met after the second conversation.

A few years ago when online dating became popular, people started exchanging many emails and waiting a long time before meeting someone for the first time. Here are five good reasons why some people want to wait a long time before meeting someone.

Five Reasons Why Some Singles Prefer To Wait and Exchange Dozens Of Emails First.

1. Many internet daters are not ready for a real relationship so flirting online by email is more comfortable and less threatening. People can hide behind a computer screen rather than facing a real person. Some might still be married, recently seperated, or still in a unhappy relationship. Others might physically be available but emotionally still attached to someone else.

It takes some people time to 'heal' emotional wounds before they're ready to have another real relationship, so internet dating is used by some to 'get their feet wet' in the dating world without actually dating. These people usually have no intentions of meeting anyone in person. They're just happy with the attention, flattery, flirting, and compliments they might be getting by email.

2. For some women, safety is a concern. They want to get to 'know' someone first before meeting them.

3. Other people are just shy about meeting someone in person. It's more comfortable to do email than it is to carry on a conversation on the phone, or on a date.

4. Still other people believe they're saving time by exchanging a lot of emails first.

5. And finally some people believe that email is a good way to get to know someone. The theory says that if someone writes thoughtful, romantic emails they must be the same way in real life.

Is Email A Good Way To Know Someone Before Meeting Them?

It might seem to be a good way of getting to know someone. It's safe, secure, and an illusion! It's an illusion to believe that you can start a romantic relationship with email and a profile as your only tools.

With email you're never really sure who you're dealing with. By carefully reading your profile, they might say all the right things they know you want to hear and they might be very romantic, but what does this really prove? All it says for sure is that they're really good at writing and they read your profile.

On the other hand someone might be terrible at writing emails. They might say all the wrong things and it would be easy to write them off as a 'loser'. Yet you might meet the same person at a party or a friend's house and feel totally different about them.

Bottom line is that you really can't tell who you're dealing with when you're exchanging emails. It's better to meet someone as soon as possible and exchange emails later. Most people do exactly the opposite and continually get disappointed.

Also, even if someone emails you a picture, has an exciting profile, and emails you interesting emails, what do you really know about them? Are they being honest? Do they look like the picture they sent you? How old are they? Are they 70 years old and pretending to be 40? Or are they 12 years old and pretending to be 30? You'll never know for sure until you meet them in person.

Does Waiting To Meet Someone Save You Time? Here's The Truth About Email.

The truth is that you can meet far more real people in the same amount of time, if you arrange several 15 minute meetings at Starbucks. Just think how much time is wasted typing emails to someone you never met before. If you type 20 emails to 10 different people and if it takes 5 minutes on the average to type an email, you just wasted 16.66 hours typing to complete strangers! Most of these people you will never meet and you will probably not 'click' with most people when you finally meet them in person. Experienced singles will tell you that email can be a big time waster. Meet right away. Keep in touch by email later. Not the other way around.

Internet Dating And Safety. What You Can Do To Protect Yourself.

Email and exchanging pictures by email is far safer than giving out your phone number. If you have an email address with yahoo, hotmail, or some other generic provider, there is no easy way for people to find out where you live or work. The next best thing is an unlisted phone number.

But isn't it risky meeting someone for the first time in a public place? NO! It's no more dangerous than striking up a conversation with any stranger we might see when we leave our home. We meet people in public places all the time. Every time we go outside we're meeting strangers. We don't know anything about them.

How To Use Email For Online Dating And Why.

Email should be used as a way of connecting with or staying in touch with people we know already know. It's also the only way of replying to someone's online personal ad. You can meet a lot of nice people on the internet that you wouldn't meet otherwise.

However you won't feel any chemistry or 'vibes' until you meet the right person face to face. Think about it. Pretend you're at a party attended by 500 singles. Half are men and half are women. Look around. Almost everyone has an internet connection and most have profiles somewhere in cyberspace. How many people can you count that you might be interested in romantically? If only one or two people catch your eye out of hundreds of people, these are the same odds you have of falling in love with someone off the internet!

Perhaps now it's easier to see why internet dating can be discouraging. Most people are expecting to find Mr or Mrs Right by reading emails from people they haven't seen before. The reality is that you need to see someone in person first before you can consider any attraction and out of hundreds of people that you actually see each day, there are only few that might work out for you.

So the question is, why waste a lot of time with email? It's far better to meet people ASAP.


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