Eliminate Limiting Beliefs.
If you're reading this, you're probably aware that there's nothing 'wrong' or unusual about asking a man out on a date. Dating was different years ago. Men always made the first move and if a woman did it, somehow it didn't feel right. Now, whether you're 18 or 108 it's perfectly acceptable to a point blank ask a man out on a date. (Of course if you're 108, you may have trouble finding someone your age to date, in which event you'll need to rob the cradle and go for that young good looking 98 year old guy.)
There's no need anymore to sit around the phone, hoping, wishing, and praying, that the man you're interested in might happen to call you. Just pick the men you're interested in and ask! You have a huge advantage over men.
Dealing With The Risk Of Rejection.
First of all, even though it's alright to ask a man out on a date, it's usually the other way around. Most men still make the first move, but they secretly wish that women would ask them instead. After all it's stressful for most men to ask a woman out on a date. There's always the fear of being rejected.
It's less likely that you'll be rejected because when you ask a man out on a date, it's flattering. Most men don't get that too often. It throws them off guard. It's hard for them to say no because it's something that they want women to do and they know what it's like being rejected.
ABC's Of Asking A Man On A Date.
So let's get started! It's easy and fun if you approach it in a care free manner. If you're not dating much now, this will turn things around. You'll wonder why you didn't do this before.
First of all, it's just a date. We're not talking marriage or anything real serious, so basically you could approach a man the same way most men ask women out on dates. Except don't make the same mistakes that some men make. You know what these mistakes are because I'm sure men have made those mistakes when they've asked you out in the past.
Attitude Is Everything. Here's How To Ask For A Date.
it's usually best to be available but not 'desperate'. And it's best to take charge of situation rather than being wishy washy about it. This would apply to men and women if you're asking someone out on a date. For example you could ask a man to meet you at a specific time or place because you'll be there anyway. That projects a different image than if you say, 'Would you like to go out with me sometime?' or even 'Are you free Thursday night?', .
It's best to be lighthearted and just spontaneously 'pop the question', like 'Hey, would you like to meet me at Starbucks?. I'll be there tonight at 7pm.' or 'What are you doing Saturday morning? I usually go out for breakfast and read the paper. Would you like to join me? I'll leave my newspaper at home!'
What If He Says No?
If he's not available but interested, he might suggest another time. If he doesn't, you could give him your email address or phone number and say, 'Here's my number. We'll do it another time.' Then drop the subject. This implies that it's ok for him to call you for a date when he has time, but it's suble. It's different than saying, 'Please call me sometime so we can go out.' or something to that affect.
Asking For A Date Doesn't Need To Be Obvious.
If you want an even 'softer sell', you could say, 'I've got two tickets to the baseball game (or the theatre, ...) and my girlfriend can't make it. I've already paid for them and don't want to waste the ticket. Would you like to go? It's my treat!'
The best way to be subtle is just to relax, be yourself, and not be attached to the outcome. If you're too serious you'll scare some men away. Think about times when a man asked you on a date and he was too serious about it. Your attitude should be, if he says yes great, and if he says no, it's ok too. If you take it too seriously, it will show in your tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions. Ask for a date in a 'matter of fact', spontaneous, and lighthearted way. Don't spend a lot of time rehearsing what you'll say. Just have a specific activity in mind, pick up the phone and call.
How To Reduce The Stress Of Asking Men Out On Dates.
Everyone gets nervous when they attach too much importance on whether someone will say yes or no. Before you ask, accept that the man might say yes or no. Be ok with either answer. The way to do this easily is to put yourself in situations where you're likely to meet a lot of men. Join clubs, go to singles events, take up a hobby, join a gym, go to business networking events if you run a business, join an investment club, volunteer, get involved in a car club, go ballroom dancing, ... be creative. If you're interested in 10 different men and someone says no, it's no big deal, because there are nine left. But if there's only one man that you're interested in and he says no it's much more disappointing.
How To Ask A Man Out By Email.
If you've never spoken on the phone, your only choice is to suggest exchanging phone numbers or point blank ask for a date using one of the techniques I've described or a creative new approach. Basically you can write the email in the same way that you would talk. Just keep it short and light. Always invite a man into your space or schedule but be flexible if he suggests a different place and time.
If you've already spoken on the phone it's best not to use email to ask a man out. Just use the phone, relax, lighten up, and pop the question as if it were an afterthought. Nothing serious. That is, it's ok if you say yes and it's ok if you say no. Be positive and say your words in an inviting, friendly tone of voice. But either way should be fine with you. That's the attitude and emotion that you should project.
It's unlikely for a man to say no, because men are secretly flattered when a woman asks them out. It's an 'ego' trip for them. But if the answer is no, with no explanation or offer to meet at a different time, it should be a warning sign or red flag. Is he married? Does he have a girlfriend? Is he really a man? Or worse yet are you dealing with a child that's under age and playing games with you??? If you've never spoken on the phone or met before you'll never know for sure. That's why it's best to suggest a personal but brief meeting as soon as possible. Be sure you know who you're emailing before you invest weeks an months playing a pointless game.
Have fun, and may all your dates be good ones.
Written by
William J. Borden
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